


the moment i knew

by xx_anklebiters_xx



Category: Paramore
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:28:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27297172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xx_anklebiters_xx/pseuds/xx_anklebiters_xx
Summary: this oneshot trails the emotional journey hayley experienced through her engagement and wedding. this one was inspired by the song the moment i knew by taylor swift
Relationships: Hayley Williams/Taylor York
Comments: 3
Kudos: 17





	the moment i knew

**Author's Note:**

> while it's based on true events, i cannot say that these things actually occurred. and no, i cannot confirm or deny that taylor was at the wedding because i simply don't know. also, i wrote this before kathryn became a literal troll on twitter so there's no better time to publish. i hope y'all like this one because i really wanted to turn this breakup song into a love story so! let me know what y'all think!

_ “What are you looking at?” he asked. My eyes snap from the doorway to him. _

_ I shook my head. “Nothing, I just zoned out, I guess.” The lie felt cheap, but he believed it, so I didn’t worry about it. I took a deep breath; there was no saving me. I tapped my finger on my leg, which on its own had found a rhythm. Stop. I sigh, I smile. _

_ “I actually have one more gift for you,” he said. His movements were awkward. He went to the tree and dug into the branches of it. Out of them, he pulled a velvet box. No. He dropped onto one knee. Please. “Hayley, will you marry me?” _

_ My hands flew up to my mouth. Was it shock? Was it to hide the absence of a smile? I glance around. The people around us looked expectantly. “Yes,” I blurted out. “Of course I will, Chad.” _

_ Everyone around me broke out into some sort of uproar. My stomach sank. I could have run into that kitchen and cut my tongue off. I could have been honest. I could have done literally anything else. It felt wrong. _

_ “Are you gonna tell everyone?” he asked that night in bed. “The band, I mean.” _

_ “Of course I will.” I looked over at him. “Why wouldn’t I?” _

_ He looked away from his phone and up at me. Suspicion cast over his face. “I was just wondering. Are you okay? You’ve been like… out of your mind today.” _

_ I sighed. “I’m tired. We’ve seen and called a lot of people tonight. I’m just tapped out and I want to go to sleep.” _

_ “Okay,” he told me. He sounded defensive. “No need to crucify me.” _

_ And I didn’t even bother. I didn’t have time for the blow-up or the argument or the storming out. “Sorry. I’m just really sleepy. Goodnight.” _

_ “Yeah.” _

_ And just a couple of days later, my home was full again. “Hey! Happy birthday!” Everyone said as they passed by me at the front door. Hug after hug, cheek pecks, the works; but not a sign of Taylor York. I looked around the living room and kitchen a few hundred times just to make sure I hadn’t missed him somehow. _

_ I checked our texts. Maybe he said he couldn’t make it. Maybe I misunderstood. But clear as day, he’d said, “I’ll be there.” _

_ He was the only one who didn’t respond to my text about the engagement. It hurt. I wanted him to be there, it would have made my night. _

_ It felt ridiculous, actually. To check the clock and then the door and then my makeup; all to realize it was for nothing. My eyes watered. I rushed down the hall and to the bathroom. I cursed the footsteps behind me. _

_ “What’s wrong, hun?” Jana asked. Kat was behind her with that same, damned expression: concern. “Why do you look so sad?” _

_ I turned away from her and wiped my eyes. I cleared my throat and quietly said, “He said he’d be here.” _

_ “Oh,” Kat mumbled. “Well nevermind that, right? There’s a party!” Her accent made me laugh, but then I laughed more about how pathetic I felt.  _

_ “What Kat said,” Jana told me with a shrug. “Just don’t mind it.” _

_ I nodded and stared down at the floor for a second. “Did he say anything? To Justin, you know.” Jana sighed. “Sorry, you don’t have to answer that, it’s fine.” _

_ “He didn’t. They talked earlier, but he didn’t mention the party.” I nodded, but wouldn’t look at her, so she said, “You know why he’s acting like this, right?” _

_ I looked between the two women. Kat seemed confused, but she didn’t say anything. I turned away from them and dabbed at my eyes carefully so I wouldn’t ruin my makeup. “I really don’t, Jana. I don’t know.” _

_ The woman sighed and gave me a look that called me on my bullshit. But she chose not to say anything about him again. “Dry your eyes, honey. Chad’s probably looking for you.” _

_ When we left the bathroom, Chad was in the living room asking about me. I tapped on his shoulder, a muted sort of smile on my face. “There you are!” he laughed out. He pulled me in for a hug and yelled, “Hey, Cristi! I found her!” _

_ I was about to question him, but everyone started singing. He spun me around and my mom was walking toward me with a cake in her hands. I couldn’t count the candles fast enough. I looked around and everyone was staring at me and smiling and singing and staring and… not a single one of them was Taylor. I started to cry again. My mom smiled at me and Chad hugged me harder. I forced a smile I didn’t actually want to have. There was a lot going on, but when I blew out my candles everyone cooed and awed about my happy crying. I felt empty and miserable. _

_ And later that night, I received a few texts from him apologizing and claiming that something came up. Five minutes before midnight, of course. Hardly my birthday at all. I texted him a quick, “no worries, and thanks,” and put my phone down. _

_ “Your happy tears were so cute,” Chad said. “You looked so surprised!” _

_ I chuckled and nodded. “Yeah, I was.” _

_ “And you know,” he mumbled. “I have one more birthday gift for you, you know, if you want it.” He peeled back the blanket on my side of the bed. He looked at me suggestively. _

_ I dragged my feet as I moved toward the bed. “Would that offer still stand say… tomorrow?” I ask softly. “I’m just really exhausted. Tonight was… a lot. Quite overwhelming, even.” _

_ He sighed and I pretended to not see him roll his eyes. “Of course,” he said, but it didn’t sound friendly. “Sure.” _

_ “Sorry,” I mumbled. “If you really want to, that’s fine too, you know. I just thought maybe we cou-” _

_ “Save it,” he chuckled. “It’s whatever. It’s your birthday, right?” _

_ I glanced up at the clock. “Well, not so much anymore.” _

_ “It’s fine, Hayley. Don’t even feel like it anymore.” I watched him unlock his phone and turn his attention away from me. _

_ “I think I’m gonna head to the guest room,” I sighed. He didn’t even acknowledge me. So, I made my way to the red couch in my guest room. That stupid couch felt close enough to Taylor in my mind. Close enough to his energy and our memories, and that was enough. _

_ As unsure as I had ever been, I stood in front of a mirror, my wedding dress on. Brian was doing whatever to my hair and my hands were propped up on my hips. “He’s not here?” _

_ “No, now shut up!” Brian whined. “The wedding doesn’t start for like another hour, it’s fine.” _

_ “I know that, bitch. I want my best friend here, is that a crime?” I questioned. _

_ Brian laughed. “I have two responses. I’m gonna go with: it is a crime when you’re in love with him.” I whipped my head around to glare at him and he yelped, “You’re gonna make me burn you!” _

_ “I’m not in love with him, shut up,” I spat. _

_ “Okay, bridezilla, gosh. My second response was: I’m right here.” I rolled my eyes at him. He gave me a cheeky smile. _

_ “That wasn’t funny,” I grumbled. “You know Chad hates when you say that. I hate when you say that.” _

_ Brian shrugged his shoulders carelessly. “It was a joke and I thought it was funny. Defensive, much?” _

_ “You can stop talking now,” I responded. “And hurry up so you can leave me alone, please.” _

_ He sighed and stopped curling my hair. “I was kidding, Hayley. I know you only love Chad. I didn’t realize it was such a sore spot, so I’m sorry.” _

_ “Yeah, it’s fine,” I said quietly. _

_ I was definitely on edge all day. What really pissed me off was that Taylor was the last person to arrive, but the first person to leave the ceremony. He didn’t show up to the reception, though. I tried to shake off that sadness. I guess I did a pretty good job at that, though, because no one asked if I was okay that night. _

_ Much later that night after Chad and I had opened what felt like a million gifts, my phone began to ring. I took the call in our backyard. “Hey,” I said softly. _

_ “Hey,” Taylor said. “The ceremony was pretty. And the reception, I’m sorry I didn’t make it. Something ca-” _

_ “Something came up, I’m familiar with the excuse,” I interjected. “Yeah. I’m sorry, too.” _

_ There was a very thick moment of silence in the air. He sighed and then asked, “I’m not interrupting anything, am I?” _

_ “Feels like you should’ve started with that,” I laughed. “No, we’re just opening gifts to get them out of the way.” _

_ “Have you gotten to mine yet?” he questioned. _

_ I kicked at the dampened grass. “Umm… I don’t think so,” I say. “I’ll text you when we do.” _

_ “Nah, you don’t have to,” he mumbled. Then he added, “It’s not that great.” _

_ It was quiet again. I tried to think of something to say, but my stomach pulled. “Hey, I jus-” _

_ “I should probably let you guys have your night. I’ll see you at rehearsal, right? And congrats.” I could tell he was done talking to me, even if I wasn’t done talking to him, so I gave up. _

_ “Yeah, goodnight,” I sighed. I went back in and continued to unwrap gifts. _

“So when exactly did you figure out that you were in love with me?” Taylor asks me on our first official date. He gives me this smirk that I’m so invested in.

“Umm… well, it’s complicated,” I say. “But there were a lot of little signs.”

“Uh-huh, and now you’re obsessed with me,” he jokes. “I’m just so pretty.”

I roll my eyes and laugh. “Something like that, I guess. It took longer than it needed to, though.”

“You’re tellin’ me,” he chuckled. “I waited forever.”

“Like… 30 years?” I asked with a smirk.

“Something like that, I guess,” he mocks. “But for the record, I love you too.”


End file.
